Consuming
by Wolf from the Hidden Flames
Summary: There was taint in their words and in the air, threatening to overpower the fragile state of friendship they had. And their fragile state of will and sanity. Angsty ShizNat.
1. Prologue

**Wolf: **Midnight right now and I have some muse…NOT happy fic. Ehehe, just to warn you. But I still like it…hehe.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Mai HiME.

**Consuming**

Prologue

* * *

White. 

Sterile white.

It was blinding and frightening.

There was nothing but white in this room. Blinding, frightening, sterile white covering these four walls. It was icy cold, clamping down upon pale skin yet perspiration dotted alabaster flesh. Heavy breaths blew from the only living creature in this room, huddling in one of the white corners. Hands shakily grasped at the white walls and knees jerked, rising with a crack in their bones. Thin legs clumsily padded along the wall. Shimmering hair once the color of oak was now lackluster and pale brown. Scarlet eyes that had once shone unearthly were a dead, dull murky red.

Breath rose and a shrill whine reverberated from the creature. Arms rustled beneath white sleeves and outstretched, grasping at thin air. Fingers splayed and pupils dilated in the dull red orbs. Then that bony hand slowly lowered and hung limply by the figure's skin. A throat clogged and knees bent once again, hair falling to mask the gaunt face.

It was far too white in this room, suffocating her.

Escape.

She wanted to escape these excruciating walls.

Her nostrils flared and her thin hands came to grip her fair head; a whimper passed her pale lips. Dull red eyes flicked back and forth, nervously. How could she escape? She wanted to, needed to. Again her knees cracked as she rose and she tumbled along to the other side of the room. Her cheek pressed against the white wall and she shivered at the cold touch. Her breathing quickened and she inhaled, almost choked at the stale scent of the enclosure.

Her shoulders quivered and a shudder rippled violently up her frame. Her red eyes shut tightly and she tried desperately to breathe calmly. She failed vainly; her breathing once again became ragged and she hunched over. Bile threatened to rise as her stomach churned uncomfortably. Gasping with sharply opened eyes, she slumped against the white floor. First contact with the icy floor made the feeling worse and she scrabbled up, bracing herself with hands and knees. Out of the corner of her peripheral vision, she thought she saw the white walls wave.

Confusion settled in.

Her murky red gaze grew clouded; she shook her head slowly from side to side. Dull oak strands waved in her face and she clutched at them and pulled. A sharp pain erupted on her skull and she hissed, lowering her forehead to press against the floor. Discomfort pulled itself upon her and plagued her foggy mind. Her nostrils continued to flare; she shifted her skull to press her cheek against the floor this time as her knees buckled and her legs lowered.

Her alabaster skin shivered and she curled into a fatal position, seeking warmth. It did little good to her, but somehow in this position, she felt slightly better. Her murky eyes blinked as she stared into a pair of dull red eyes, gazing at a face so akin to hers that she pulled back and snarled at it. The face gazed hollowly back at her with that same gaunt expression and, curiously, she reached a hand to it. Even before grazing her fingertips against the face's skin, the image evaporated. She shook her head in bewilderment. Her reflection? Created by her gradually shattering mind?

She sucked in her breath.

Fear was just as stale as this room.

With sporadic spasms snapping about her body in a vice like grip, she shut her eyes weakly. Whimpers jumped in her throat yet died before they could reach her tongue. The image of her reflection appeared in her mind's eye. Her murky eyes rolled behind her shut eyelids; she was confused as to what was real. Her reflection sprawled on the white floor? Or was she the reflection?

She didn't know where she was, couldn't find herself again.

A sudden shake of the white floor broke her feeble train of thought and her murky gaze opened to peer at the rippling walls. Slowly and tauntingly, they began to move toward her. Seeing that she was being closed in, her chest tightened horribly and a scream burst from her throat. The walls laughed at her wail as they closed around her. Her body convulsed as spasms took hold once more. Her cries died away until she slumped against the floor. Dead eyes transcended up one of the white walls and stared and for a moment she thought she could see glass instead of white. Then black consumed her.

Insecurity, insanity, and illusion were her world now.

- - -

Emerald green eyes stared past the glass wall, separating the cobalt-haired female from the thin figure in the middle of the white room. A calloused hand reached up and stroked the glass. She breathed hotly on the glass and watched it fog before clearing. Despondency hazed those icy green eyes; mourning etched her features.

She was so close, yet so far.

"Shizuru…you're going to be alright. I'll get you out of here…soon…someday…"

It was whispered to the sprawled figure in that white sterile room.

Lies. Nothing could heal the wounds of that scarcely breathing figure. Natsuki felt her icy eyes moisten and she pressed her forehead against the glass. Her breathing was soft compared to the shallow gasps of the brunette inside. A single tear escaped and glittered on her dark lashes before soundlessly dropping. Natsuki opened her emerald eyes again, self-control quickly evaporating at Shizuru's broken image.

This was how far she fell.

How far _both_ of them fell.

* * *

**Wolf: **Hum. So…yeah. It's almost 1:30 now wow…oh well after listening to Linkin Park's Crawling for more than 3 hours straight I was about to come up with something eccentric…I have a fetish for crazy Shizuru. Bit claustrophobic too...heh. Now…(goes off to shoot the writer's block that is preventing chapter two of Play For Me to be written) 


	2. Chapter 1

**Wolf: **Originally I was going to have this as just a one-shot but after reading a couple reviews and giving it some thought, I decided to give this fic a plot. I'm not sure how long it's going to be. Probably only a few chapters or so and I don't know how fast I'll update but read and enjoy. :3

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Mai HiME.

**Consuming**

Chapter 1  
Unspoken and Unseen

* * *

After the Carnival, everything seemed to go back to normal. Everything seemed just fine. Many pleas for forgiveness were said and many 'I forgive you's' were uttered. There seemed to be no hard feelings, no negativity in the air. They were all just happy it was over with and done, that the Carnival could finally be erased from their minds forever. 

Oh if only it could have been that simple.

Beneath the surface, beneath their timid lies that all was forgiven and forgotten, malice leaked. Beneath their smiles and cheerful atmospheres, fear and doubt lingered in each of their heart. During the times they all got together, there were still the wary glances, still the uncertainty. A nervous peer, wondering 'Can I trust him?'; a suspicious glare, speaking 'Is she safe to be around?'; a frightened glance, whispering 'Are the two of us ok as just friends?'. These were just glimpses of their conflicted emotions, their fears and doubts placing a cold grasps around their hearts.

None of these were ever spoken though. Vile questions and angry claims were never spoken for fear of breaking the fragile air of friendliness each had constructed. They all thought the same thing. If they could forget what happened, if they could just forget and forgive; it'd all be ok.

Things like this just were never simple. One could only take so much of their illusory before shattering under its false image.

Shizuru was just the first to break.

- - -

Natsuki and Shizuru seemed to be the most troubled after the Carnival. They were the most anxious to repair what had been broken under the lurid shackles of the Carnival. They scrambled to mend what once was, piecing back each shard of the mirror that was their friendship, glassy and transparent.

They walked on an endless path back and forth, demurely picking up each piece and setting it back on their cracked mirror of friendship. Side by side with a fervent, almost desperate, pace; they never lost step with each other on the road, never sped up nor slowed, endlessly. Their hearts beat as one in a slow, staccato beat. Both felt the fear and apprehension at the questioning in their plagued minds.

What if, no matter how hard they tried to forget and continue on healing, just what if…

…they couldn't mend their friendship?

- - -

It wasn't that long after when the nightmares began.

The agonizingly slow healing after the Carnival was taking its toll on her, the anxiety rising potently against her broken sanity. Her abhorrence and uncertainty were vastly pooled in her soul, seeding into her mind and slowly chipping away at what little balance she had managed to scrounge after those dark suffering days. Manifesting itself into agitating visions, she slept more fitfully each passing night.

Hands would always clutch at her pallid sheets, pale oak hair spread against her cushions and her slender body writhed beneath. Gasps would wearily float from her throat, incoherent words spilled from red lips as she vainly tried to fight the onslaught of nightmares. Her scarlet eyes, roving beneath her shut eyelids, rolled all the way to the back of her skull as her back arched. Fingers scrabbled on the sheets as the moon sent a sickly beam of white through her curtains and into her bedroom. She twisted away from it.

Her brow knitted in distress upon her soft face and her lips pulled downward. Her breathing grew ragged; she shoved the sheets away. Legs, clad in simple white cotton pants, thrashed on the bed as wave after wave of sin and guilt took shape in horrific nightmares. Outstretching her arms, she scratched at thin air and hissed.

Then in the span of a moment, her body froze in mid-action. Muscles pulled painfully taut and a spasm grappled her body, sent a violating ripple of agony down her spine and a hollow shriek tore from her vocal cords. Scarlet eyes snapped open.

Shizuru panted in the dark, her dark eyes flicking about the room in a frightful glance. She saw nothing except for the familiar structure of old furniture and valuables. There were no shadows of demons and fire at the foot of her bed, no apparitions licking at her feet with lustful grins as they tried to lure her into the fiery pits of her damnation. There were no figures, hands stained with blood, reaching for her and crying hollowly of her sin.

She was alone. Completely alone and safe in solitude.

She was safe right? She could go back to sleep right?

With an almost inaudible whimper, the brunette tugged her sheets back and nestled deeper into them. Her chin dipped into the crook of her arm and she shivered in the cold, night air. Why was it so cold? A quick toss of her head toward the window showed her why.

It was open, but she didn't remember ever opening it.

No matter, she was too tired to rise up and shut it.

Turning back to her covers, Shizuru once again demurely cuddled into them. Her shoulders quivered with the rooted fear that had struck her core from the nightmares. Cheek pressed against her pillow, scarlet eyes stared wide awake at her shadowed walls. Her nostrils flared from her heavy breathing and her fists caught the sheets, trapped them in a vice grip.

Just for the sake of it, she told herself as she pushed the covers off.

Feet touched the soft carpet floor of her bedroom as Shizuru lifted from the bed. She firmly crossed to her window and closed it with a snap. Dim bloody eyes suspiciously gazed at the shadows, as if she expected a beast to lash out at her right then and there. When she was sure that no such thing was going to occur, Shizuru crept back into bed.

Settling down once again in the sheets, a sigh filtered from her throat and her red eyes darkened. Her breathing became more subdued, her hands limp and releasing the fistful of sheets in their grasp. Relaxing finally in the night, she allowed sleep to lay its ghostly hands on her exhausted form and pull her back into the abyss of dreams. Losing consciousness rapidly, she hoped against all hope that the nightmares wouldn't take her again.

- - -

Natsuki was having an altogether much more different night.

Her blanket wasn't wrapped tightly around her frame like it had been for Shizuru, rather it was rumpled messily on the bed. Her breathing wasn't far too hazarded, though it was disturbed as could be identified by the hitches in breath now and then. Dark eyebrows laced into a frown as a low growl vibrated in the girl's chest and throat. She whipped her head back and forth on the pillow, disturbed.

In her dreams, she was steadily walking down an old beaten path. It was the same dream she'd been having for many nights now, expecting each to be the same. Feet scuffed the gravely soil as she walked down that small road, green eyes trained forward. A scorching sun cast heavy rays of heat down on her frame yet vivid green grass surrounded each side of the path.

She was carrying something in between her twined palms. It was sharp and jagged, almost cutting into her skin yet never breaking flesh. The object was thin and smooth and something about caressing it with her calloused hands brought a sense of familiarity and nostalgia. It was always the same, just like this. She was burdened with a crystalline shard, though each time the shard was different. Faces and scenes changed upon each shard, a small sea of color; memories. Though at the center of each memory was the hazy face of someone she knew, a pair of scarlet eyes and oak hair.

That person was usually beside her, walking the same beaten path with a shard in her own hands.

However, tonight as her steps began to slow and then cease, she raised her chin and looked around. It was the first time she'd dared to turn away from the euphoric routine.

There was no one beside her.

Natsuki woke from the strange dream in a fit of silent tears.

* * *

**Wolf: **Ah there…if the events in this chapter seem muddled and disorganized…that's because I'm still trying to figure out where I want to go with this fic. Though it was pretty enjoyable to write. 

And if there are such questions, yes I am working to update Play For Me. ;3


	3. Chapter 2

**Wolf: **Well I only did get two reviews for the last chapter but I don't really care much…actually it was a tiny bit disappointing but I'm still determined to write this little fic. XD If only for my own pleasure to get the idea of it out of my head! Sooo…if anyone's reading this enjoy the fic! And thanks to Dster and Mystic for reviewing!

**Consuming**

Chapter 2  
Fogged

* * *

The glass was perpetual, withstanding and unbreakable in its thin boundary. She placed her hand on the reflecting solid, gazing abysmally into the other room. Her viridian eyes, ardent and full of sorrow, glittered with the grief of someone who'd lost something most precious to them and would never regain it. Her breathing was almost inaudible in the eerie white halls, but it still managed to echo along its walls. There was just so much _pain_, never-ending in its foul play as her heart was withered more and more at the sight behind the glass. Nothing ever changed, nothing ever stepped out of place in the mundane routine. 

In the morning, she'd rise from her bed, eyes glazed over in something akin to a trance. Getting dressed and ready, eating breakfast and walking out of her apartment were nothing but habit to her. The slow steps her feet ensued as they padded down the stairs of her apartment, the steady beat of her heart; it was always the same slow pace. The world passed by her on the streets, completely unaware of her presence. Everything was a haze; everything burned a numb hole in the pit of her stomach. The tears she'd shed each night had stopped long ago, months ago. There was nothing but the pain, the sheer agony.

Why? Why did she finally see after so long? Why now? Why now when she'd finally slowed her rushing pace against time did she have to see? It was cruel, far too cruel and she was left in the torrential current, lost in its furious tides.

There was nothing left of her.

The glass in front of her, the sight of scarlet eyes and the wisps of oaken hair; everything was a harsh reminder. She remembered days before, months before when all she did was rush through life and in the end she was the one slowing everything down. Slowing everything down and having nothing left to hold onto, to wrap her arms and heart around. Her only one, her most precious person, had slipped from her so long ago and she didn't know how to get her back.

- - -

Natsuki's steps were hollow, slow and soundless as she glided down the flight of stairs from her apartment. Her hand ghosted over the railing attached to the wall, mind abuzz with fearful questions. The night before, in her dreams, was odd and sent her mind into a tempest of confusion. Throughout the weeks that had followed the Carnival, she'd never had a dream of this sort. Her dreams had always involved Shizuru stepping carefully by her side, presence so potent and tangible that Natsuki could almost believe that her dream would shatter if she reached out her hand to touch her.

Yet last night, things had been different. There had been no solid presence by her side and the jolt of its realization had sent silent tears cascading down her face. She'd woken and had cried, but hadn't sobbed. Her hands had clutched her pillow tightly, searching for a beacon of something solid and standing, something that wouldn't slip past her fingertips like Shizuru had in her dreams. Her nerves had been rattled and it was all she could do to grasp that pillow and cry softly, lost and confused.

The light of the dawning morning had lured her from her bed and she'd began to get ready to face the day. She'd dressed quietly, slowly as the light of the morning steadily illuminated the walls of her room. Her eyes had stared forward, sightless though and seeing nothing. Her mind was blank and foggy as she'd crawled from her apartment and now here she was, nearing the foot of the stairs. The winding staircase left a faintly dizzying feeling in her skull and her ivory hand tightened on the railing. Her feet touched the bottom of it and she sluggishly made her way to the double doors. White hands pushed them open and she was engulfed in the morning light.

Natsuki shut her eyes against the brightness and ducked her head from the sun, picking up her pace and quickly scuttling along the pavement to her bike. As she neared her vehicle, the dawn's lethargy finally faded from her blank mind and she could feel restlessness begin to wheedle at her. She had to check on Shizuru, something was beginning to scream at her that she should. She needed, _wanted _to check on Shizuru. The eeriness of the dream echoed her jittery thoughts as she swooped over her motorcycle and revved the engine. The roaring of her bike heightened the battering of her heart inside her ribcage, pounding and nervous.

The sites across the streets were blurred, buildings looming beside her and yet the images weren't sticking. She only faced ahead, verdigris eyes somewhere between being focused and clouded. Glazed and sharp; her thoughts circled her mind like a confusing maelstrom. The more her thoughts teetered on the edge, the more her fingers gripped the handles of her bars and the more her bike sped up.

_Shizuru…_

Her teeth grated together, jaw tightening with the motion as anxiety began a gradual rising from the pit of her belly toward the core of her being. Her heart's staccato beat increased, thumping with uncertainty against bone and flesh. Her bike continued boosting its speed.

_Dream…_

A low shrieking sound whistled from her tires and her thoughts were slowly cut off, gaze traversing down as she stared at the road. The sound kept on accumulating and as Natsuki fought to break through the fog enveloping her mind, her ears detected the faint noise of approaching tires and a honking wail. She looked up away from her tires just as the vehicle rammed into the side of her bike.

Crash.

The screaming of tires.

The feel of burning metal and rubber.

The grinding of pavement against a supple body.

And the yelling, the yelling erupting around her as her form went soaring through the air and scraping against the pavement. Agony was far from her senses as she laid there, viridian irises wide beneath her shattered visor. There was only undiluted shock in those pools of evergreen and her chest rose and fell with haggard breaths. Numbness, shock, and wonder filled her and her lips moved in a silent whisper as the sounds of several footsteps rushed to her.

_What happened?_

- - -

"You're hurting her! You're hurting her!"

Her cries were audible all throughout the hallways, strong and thundering in the course of their unbridled sorrow and anguish. Faceless bodies stopped and stared, gazing with apathy at the spectacle before them. Coats, white lab coats adorned their figures. It was nothing new to them; it never was anything new to them. Someone always overreacted, someone always cried during their visits. Faceless forms turned away, shunning the agonized screams.

The source of those screams came from one lithe body, chest jumping in sobs. Arms clasped around that slender body and tugged; her vision was filled completely with white. White lab coats, white walls, everything was white in this place. It sickened her.

Her viridian eyes gazed soulfully at the glass as she writhed in the grasps of her captors, trying in vain to return to the window. Her dark cobalt hair whipped with each flailing movement as her hands clawed at thin air. Once more she tried screaming, "Let me go! They're hurting her!"

"Miss please calm down! They're just doing their job!"

Empty words.

She snarled and turned on the man, hand slashing down his face. He yelped and leaped from her, bonds broken free. While the man attended to his stricken face, the blue-haired girl pivoted on her heels and rushed back to the window. She pressed herself as best she could against the glass, staring woefully at the scene unfolding in front of her.

When she could, she tried to make her visits contradict with these times, but it'd been by chance and she'd not been prepared. She'd quietly strolled through the barren halls to that room, her room. The moment she'd peered through the glass though, a wail had torn her throat.

Hands clutched at a frail form, gripping harshly on the sickly skin. Sharp, pointed, thin, long, all different synonyms to describe that needle as the doctors surrounded _her_. She was blockaded from seeing her, not just by glass but by doctors and something else that she could never break through. A barrier, something intangible. That needle, those hands, all pulled harshly on her thin form and her tortured cries rang cruelly in Natsuki's ears.

Nausea swirled in her stomach and bile rose in her throat. She gagged and sobbed, slumping down against the glass. Her hands curled, nails digging into her palms. Her porcelain arms trembled and her shoulders shook with the force of her sobs. She lifted her fists and pounded them against the glass, sobbing and crying out into the other room, "You're hurting her! You're hurting her!"

They didn't stop, completely disregarded her as the doctors surrounded their patient, their captive, victim. Faceless bodies circled her most precious, some clinging to her form and holding her still while the others injected the needles. Medication, they said. Sedatives, they told her. Drugs, Natsuki decided.

Then she found she wasn't the only one screaming through the glass.

_She _was screaming too.

While Natsuki cried in grief though, Shizuru wailed in torment.

Her fists hectically rammed on the glass and her legs pushed her off the cold floor. Her eyes glinted wildly, livid green. Her breathing was erratic, just like the tempo of her heart that pulsed in her eardrums. Her screams continued, magnified by her most precious's.

"You're hurting her! Stop!"

"Stop it!"

"STOP HURTING HER!"

"STOP IT!"

She was given no reply, except for the repercussion of Shizuru's agonized howls.

* * *

**Wolf: **Well this certainly took a long ass time to put into words, but at least it's finally up. Uhh don't have a long author's note or anything. To clear up in case anyone's wonder, the events in this fic are occurring in two separate timelines, one past and one present. Genre was changed in case anyone noticed, and in case anyone's reading this. O-o; 

Review if you do read! Though I'd still continue this fic even if I only got one review, I would like some comments and feedback! And once again if anyone wants to know, my other fics will eventually be updated, hopefully at least another one this week. Patience is rewarded little readers!

:3


	4. Chapter 3

**Wolf:** Guh…about a thousand apologies for not updating in a while, and then some. X-x;

**Consuming**

Chapter 3

Just Fine and Dandy

* * *

Surprises; surprises were at every twist and turn, every bend and curve of each road in life. There was no direct path, no map to tell you where to go, no guidelines. Trial and error, figure out which way to go or lose yourself in your own footsteps. Natsuki never had it easy; no one ever told her which way to go or what path to take. From the time of childhood to the time of an end at a cliff and the rebirthing in the sea, to the new strength gained in that garden and to the fall in that horrid life; nothing was ever easy. Life just loved throwing surprises at her, harsh ones. 

Oh, but why did this one have to be so _hard?_

Why did she have to stand on the sidelines, inadequate as she watched her dearest fade forever faster each day? The torture, the brutal agony assaulting her heart every morning and every night as she watched that once strong life cripple against its own shackles and mutilation was reckoning to watch.

She bared her soul too late.

Her dearest was spiraling into her doom by her own hands.

- - -

The white halls closed in around her on all sides. The scent of disinfectant was strong and her nostrils flared from the smell. Her throat moved rapidly up and down as she kept reminding herself to breathe. She felt like she was drowning, caught in the waves of a white sea as it tried to pull her down into its depths. Her feet trembled and threatened to stumble. It was only her will and years of trained composure that kept her standing. Her teeth ground softly, nervously as she looked from side to side.

Hospital. She was in a hospital. Shakily trudging through the halls, her dark eyes darted from side to side as beads of anxious sweat began to collect on her forehead. Trying to calm herself, she leaned against one of the abnormally cold walls of the hallway and wiped at her forehead. _Breathe breathe breathe. _She told herself this over and over again, placing her clammy hand over her racing heart. She'd only been here ten minutes. She couldn't just turn tail and run. Natsuki needed her to be strong.

_Oh Natsuki what have you done?_

With ragged breath, she stiffly walked down the hall, eyes flicking toward each door to peer at the bold black numbers plastered upon them. The sound of her footsteps on the tiled floor sent echoes thrumming in her eardrums. Her breathing grew raspy and she paused finally near the end of the hallway.

Room 137.

This was it, this was the room. Breathing shakily through her nose, Shizuru clenched her eyes tight and tried to regain her composure. Her fingers gnarled into fists and dug into the skin of her palms, bringing forth a slight stinging pain. She ignored it and dug them in deeper, shoulders hunched and head slightly bowed, chin tucked on her chest. _Breathe breathe breathe. _

Steeling herself, she lifted her trembling fingers and grasped the handle. Shizuru gave one last shuddering breath and opened the door. Her eyes narrowed into the blinding white light that seemed to emit from the room. Her feet clanged on the floor as she stepped in.

_Natsuki…_

The figure on the bed was fast asleep, eyelids covering the viridian eyes Shizuru always loved to gaze at. Her cobalt hair was spread about the pillow, gently sweeping down the girl's cheeks and over her shoulders. Shizuru stared at that pale face. The soft features, the dark brow, the small nose, and the pair of lips that parted every now and then, exhaling. She sucked in her breath, turned away. Natsuki was fine. Natsuki was fine. She was alright, she wasn't hurt. _She's fine. She's fine. She's fine she's fine she's fine!_

The bandages around her head…

_She's fine._

The bruises lined along her arms…

_She's fine._

The IV just beside her bed…

_She's fine!_

The sunken, almost death-like look.

_SHE'S FINE!_

Shizuru clamped her hands over her ears as the blood-curling scream resonated through the room.

Her world swam, whirled, ripped apart as her own wails tried to block out what she didn't want to know. She fought against the nurses swarming through the room, clawed at the hands grabbing her from all sides. Her eyes rolled with the white that reared over her head, screaming endlessly. Even when they brought out the needle and impaled it upon the flesh of her arm she continued wailing, tears scalding her cheeks.

Darkness brought with it temporary reprieve, but the reality she denied continued to hang over her head like a guillotine.

Natsuki wasn't fine.

- - -

"Please…"

"No."

"Please…"

"No."

"Please you must eat!"

"No!"

Natsuki shrunk back, recoiled at the hardened tone.

Her solemn gaze peered forward, pleading, begging. The smell of disinfectant teased her nose, made her throat quiver with the urge to retch. This room was too small. The walls were too white. It was far too empty in here.

Even with _her_ no more than three feet away.

Actually, because of her presence, Natsuki found it all the lonelier. She was here, but then again she wasn't. She was hardly ever here, during this very moment. A far off plane; that's where she was and Natsuki could never reach for her.

"Why…won't you eat?"

"I'm not hungry."

"That's a lie."

It was a lie and she knew it. Her eyes raked up and down that form, narrowing into angry slits. So thin, so frail. Her companion stood facing away from her, by the farthest wall. She stared out the long glass window, eyes glazed, lips moving, but only occasionally did sound escape her. The strange robe she adorned looked awful on her, not at all fitting. It was like a dress, but nothing like the pretty ones Natsuki had seen her wear before. Nothing like the ones Natsuki longed to see her in.

This one was different from all the others.

_She wears it because she's…_

_No! Don't think about it!_

She shut her eyes, willing away the words. Her breath sucked in and it almost hurt to do so. Her hands curled on her lap. Her knees were drawn tightly together, legs trembling on the chair she sat on. She was the only source of color in the room, the only source of _vibrancy_. Even the one before her had lost color.

The life had drained from her face, the cheeks so gaunt and the russet eyes so dull, the hair so pale and ragged. Her skin looked so cold, felt so cold that nothing Natsuki did seemed to warm her up, bring back the blood and life in her.

She turned away, faced the wall and spoke.

"Let's start again… Shizuru are you hungry?"

This time the hostility was gone from her voice, filled with a meager need for human companionship. A friendly tone, a timid tone.

"Yes I am…actually a little bit hungry."

"Good."

Natsuki's eyes warmed as she stood up from her chair and walked the short distance to the other. She placed her hand on a shoulder and gripped it none too softly, but not enough to hurt. Just enough to be felt. A doting glance was spared on the other woman as she murmured kindly.

"Would you like something to eat then?"

Shizuru's lips curled. Her smile was soft, affectionate as she dipped her head in a single nod. Her own hand came up to rest on Natsuki's, long fingers threading themselves into the dark-haired girl's own.

"Yes I would…"

Natsuki's smile grew and she began to turn, heading for the door. She stopped midway turn though, at Shizuru's next words.

"But…"

Green eyes faced her, daring, fearing.

"…who are you?"

A confused look, a lost look.

Then Natsuki smiled, tears in her eyes and pain in her heart.

"I'm Natsuki."

Thoughtfulness passed over the other woman's face and her lips moved.

"Natsuki… A pleasure to meet you Natsuki."

They both smiled, but for Shizuru she could not, for the life that was left in her, figure out why that name felt so familiar on her tongue.

* * *

**Wolf:** End of chapter 3 at last! Again another thousand apologies for having not updated in…a very long time. Apologies also because I can't recall replying to reviews… If I didn't I'm immensely sorry. 

Oh and if you're confused so far about the story… Then good you should be:P This is probably my vaguest story yet…


End file.
